the encounter

In most homes, there one chair that is “the chair”. You know the one. Its the best spot in the living room. Its right in front of the television. Nearby is a table, lamp, and the remotes. It is the place to be! Whoever sits there is in the place of prominence and control!

For years, pastors, authors, and Christian speakers have asked the question, “Who sits on the throne of your heart?” Much like the living room chair, it is a great visual for considering who is truly in control of our life, who reigns over it, who we serve, etc. Jesus took our guilt, shame, condemnation, and sin so that we could be forgiven and so that He could become Lord of our life. He came to set us free so that we could know the joy of Him sitting in our chair!

When we realize the immensity of His love and grace for us, we surrender our lives to Him. We relinquish control and remove ourselves from the throne of our heart. We willingly surrender control to Him. We allow Him to give direction, instruction, and motivation over every area of life. He assumes His rightful place of Lordship over us.

Then what?

What happens next? What does our life then look like? How do we know we have taken that step? How do we avoid stepping back into control?

To help answer the question, we turn to a man who walked and talked with Jesus. We listen to a man who personally experienced this process in his own life – not just in theory, but in practicality. We turn to the disciple John.

In 1 John 4:20-21, he writes:

If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that He who loves God must love his brother also.

Woah. Did you catch that? John is saying that the real evidence we have truly surrendered the chair of our heart to God is our love for others. Not a passive, in word only kind of love, but a love driven by sacrifice, service, and passion. Love for God is seen in love for others. You cannot let Him sit in the chair and still hate your brother.

Let’s go one step further.

Based on Jesus’ own words and actions, the greatest surrender is not just giving the throne to God. There is a deeper level of surrender and greater demonstration of love. It happens when we surrender the chair/throne/place of importance to others.

Real surrender happens when:

• husbands put their wife in that chair
• wives put their husband in that chair
• friends put their friends in that chair
• parents put their children in that chair
• children put their parents in that chair
• forgiven people put their enemy in that chair
• grace filled people put the undeserving in that chair

Now we can ask the question again.

When it comes to the chair of your heart, who sits there as the greatest evidence that you have been loved by God? Who do you serve with sacrifice, patience, and joy? Of the “neighbors” in your life, who do you love like yourself?

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Where do you find the strength to face the greatest issues of your life? How do you find the strength in your heart to:

• forgive someone who hurt you?
• serve someone who doesn’t deserve it?
• overcome a destructive habit?
• humble yourself and ask forgiveness?
• sacrifice for someone else?
• persevere when you don’t have the strength?
• restore a broken relationship?

A tremendous amount of power is needed to face any one of these situations. They require a level of power and strength because none of them are natural to the human condition. This kind of power can only come from God. He longs for us to experience it as did one of the main writers of the New Testament.

I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe Him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated Him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. ephesians 1:19-20

How do we tap into that kind of power?

Jesus Christ experienced that power when He was resurrected from the dead, given a place of prominence over all creation, and returned to intimacy with the Father. Did He get it just because He was the Son of God? How did He experience it?

He experienced in the same way that you and I can experience it – when we completely surrender our will and life to God.

Jesus wrestled with what He wanted and what His Father wanted when He prayed before facing crucifixion – “Not My will, but Your will be done.” He let go of what He wanted and submitted to rejection, suffering, pain, a crown of thorns, and a cross of punishment.

When He completely surrendered everything, He experienced the ultimate in power.

Power for the real areas of our life waits on the other side of our complete surrender.

• humility first, honor afterwards
• serving first, greatness afterwards
• brokenness first, healing afterwards
• sacrifice first, fulfillment afterwards
• surrender first, freedom afterwards
• death first, life afterwards

These are foreign to the experience of man, but are common to the ways of God. For those who choose this path, they experience the greatest power of the universe = the power of Christ to overcome all things.

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Great leaders have discovered one thing – the power of influence. They have accepted their responsibility in shaping the lives of others and do so with their words and actions. Below are 5 ways that you can accept your role as influencer of others and make a difference in their life. These 5 ways come from one of the greatest influencer’s of the New Testament, the apostle Paul. He used these over and over again, but they are clearly seen in his letter to the Ephesians in chapter 1, verses 15-18.

1. take every opportunity possible to praise people

leadership is about far more than just pointing out errors and faults. criticism can do very little to motivate people. praise can alter the course of a life. look for specific ways to praise even the smallest steps of progress, attitude, and action in the people around you.

2. let them know how thankful you are for them

look for how others impact you. watch for what others are doing for others. when you notice and realize your own gratefulness, express that to them. it will not only shape your heart to greater gratefulness, but it will direct their path to greater sacrifice, humility, and serving.

3. let them know you pray for them

letting others know you sincerely and genuinely pray for them affects them. it gives them perspective to their life. it assure them that others care for them. it reminds them of where their hope comes from.

4. genuinely pray for them

this level of influence goes on behind the scenes, but it is of no less powerful. God hears our prayers and the prayers that we pray for others – for their healing, comfort, reassurance, blessing, courage, strength, communion with God, understanding.

5. make it your goal to win their heart to God

ultimately influence is not just in winning friends to your side. you direct and change a a life when you influence the hearts of others directly to God. when they are stirred with desire, motivation, longing, and humility before God, then you have impacted their life. they will never be same when they encounter and experience God personally.

While it may overwhelm you, it is true – there are people who will base their complete identity, view of life, and concepts of God completely on your influence into their life. Assume that responsibility today and make a difference in the people you influence: your wife, your husband, your children, your family, your friends, your co-workers, your employer, your neighbor, the one who is looking to you for hope.

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Talking with others in the midst of their pain requires wisdom and patience. So often people want to quickly offer solutions, opinions, Bible verses, and Christian cliches. Doug Fields and Matt McGill of YouthMinistry.com offer these words of advice for talking with others in pain. Their insight applies to teens and adults as well…

Most youth workers learn quickly that they don’t have to look very far beneath the surface of a teenager’s life before they discover pain. Lurking below the surface is often an emotional pain that is debilitating and numbing.

This week we are going to cover some basic counseling tips that we believe are fundamental for ministering to teenagers. These articles won’t give you a degree in psychotherapy, nor keep you from referring to professions for significant issues, but they may help you with some of the pain that you uncover on a weekly basis.

PLEASE NOTE: Some of the pain you encounter may be too deep for you to handle alone (even with our tips). You’ll be in over your “pay grade” and need to ask for help from someone more experienced. Okay? Here we go!

BE PRESENT
When it’s clear that the teenager is in pain, one of the most powerful actions you can take is to simply show up and be present. That teenager won’t remember your words of wisdom during the painful time, but rather your gift of presence. Put distractions out of your mind, look him or her in the eyes, and simply be there to listen. We all know what it feels like to talk with someone who’s not really paying attention, and we never want any teenager (especially in their pain) to feel this way.

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The One Minute Bible for Students won’t replace the Bible!
It will inspire your students to take side trips into the Bible and
increase their appetite for God’s Word.
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AVOID GIVING ADVICE
Everyone needs good advice… but advice is typically best received on our timing (when we’re ready for it) and not the givers’ timeline. When the pain is fresh keep your advice quiet. Pray for wisdom and sensitivity: not just WHAT to say, but also WHEN to say it.

SHOW COMPASSION
We realize this seems like a no-brainer, but some people have a difficult time expressing what they feel. When you minister to a kid in pain, let them see that you can actually feel their pain. You don’t have to cry if it’s not genuine, but your compassion will be limited if you don’t make a genuine connection to their pain. Pretending to listen and offering stock answers isn’t compassion. A student in pain has a wounded heart, genuine compassion means your heart gets wounded too.

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The One Minute Bible for Students won’t replace the Bible!
It will inspire your students to take side trips into the Bible and
increase their appetite for God’s Word.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

RESERVE JUDGEMENT
Much of the pain you’ll encounter in your students’ lives will be self-inflicted. When the difficult trials they face are a result of their own poor decisions, it can be difficult to reserve judgment. You may be confused by this point, thinking, “DUH! Of course I’d show grace to a hurting student.” Good! We felt it was important enough to offer this basic reminder because we’ve seen too many youth workers respond with disapproval rather than grace. Confrontation and gentle correction can and should come at another time… at least wait till the “bleeding” stops.

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Every Wednesday morning about 10 men gather at the Chick Fil A in Waxahachie for some honest discussion about life, God, and what it means to be a man who genuinely follows Christ. Its not the typical stuffy exchange of Bible verses and cliches, but open discussion about the challenges men face in their pursuit of God.

Its not uncommon to for everyone to stay through several coffee and drink refills over our biscuits, gravy, chicken, and discussion.

Right now the discussion is centering around the unbelievable grace of God for man as we see it in Ephesians chapter 1. We’re discovering that the only way to genuinely love the people in our lives is to humbly accept the overwhelming love that God has for us. For a peek into the questions we’re asking and the discussion, download one of our most recent handouts = MEN OF GRACE 1.

If you want to join the discussion, come to the Chick Fil A in Waxahachie Wednesday mornings at 6:30 am! If you would like to receive the handouts weekly email Brian.

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