5 ways to influence others

Date: 29 September, 2010  |  Posted By: Brian  |  Category: Faith, Ministry, relationships  

Great leaders have discovered one thing – the power of influence. They have accepted their responsibility in shaping the lives of others and do so with their words and actions. Below are 5 ways that you can accept your role as influencer of others and make a difference in their life. These 5 ways come from one of the greatest influencer’s of the New Testament, the apostle Paul. He used these over and over again, but they are clearly seen in his letter to the Ephesians in chapter 1, verses 15-18.

1. take every opportunity possible to praise people

leadership is about far more than just pointing out errors and faults. criticism can do very little to motivate people. praise can alter the course of a life. look for specific ways to praise even the smallest steps of progress, attitude, and action in the people around you.

2. let them know how thankful you are for them

look for how others impact you. watch for what others are doing for others. when you notice and realize your own gratefulness, express that to them. it will not only shape your heart to greater gratefulness, but it will direct their path to greater sacrifice, humility, and serving.

3. let them know you pray for them

letting others know you sincerely and genuinely pray for them affects them. it gives them perspective to their life. it assure them that others care for them. it reminds them of where their hope comes from.

4. genuinely pray for them

this level of influence goes on behind the scenes, but it is of no less powerful. God hears our prayers and the prayers that we pray for others – for their healing, comfort, reassurance, blessing, courage, strength, communion with God, understanding.

5. make it your goal to win their heart to God

ultimately influence is not just in winning friends to your side. you direct and change a a life when you influence the hearts of others directly to God. when they are stirred with desire, motivation, longing, and humility before God, then you have impacted their life. they will never be same when they encounter and experience God personally.

While it may overwhelm you, it is true – there are people who will base their complete identity, view of life, and concepts of God completely on your influence into their life. Assume that responsibility today and make a difference in the people you influence: your wife, your husband, your children, your family, your friends, your co-workers, your employer, your neighbor, the one who is looking to you for hope.

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do you lead with grace? part 4

Date: 28 May, 2010  |  Posted By: Brian  |  Category: encounter, Ministry, relationships  

Grace ignites desire. It infuses hope. It creates passion. On the opposite side, condemnation destroys desire. Rejection frustrates. Angry demands remove all interest.

God leads with grace. He removed all condemnation, rejection, guilt, and demands for perfection when Jesus died for the failings of man. For those who’s hearts are penetrated and changed by this message, there is new life!

This new life renews how we relate to others. Because we are led with grace, we have the freedom to lead others with that same grace.

We finish with the final principles how to lead with grace.

5. let others see you be honest about your struggles
This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. hebrews 4:15

Jesus was a man tempted as we are. He does not hide that part of His life. Instead it becomes one of the ways that He closely relates to us.

6. use questions more than commands
He said to them, But who do you say that I am? luke 9:20a

You can’t win someone’s desire and heart by continually commanding and demanding their allegiance. Part of leading with grace involves using questions to help others see their own heart. As they do, they have the greater potential to change.

7. laugh with and enjoy others
and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so will your God rejoice over you. isaiah 62:5b

For the Lordyour God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” zephaniah 3:17

One of the often-missed truths of Scripture is the unbelievable delight and joy that God has over His children. Not something that He one day will have, but something He has right now. Stop for a minute and bask in that. Then pass that same grace on to those you lead.

8. hurt with them instead of scolding and reminding them of what they’ve done
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. lamentations 3:22-23

When God forgives, He removes guilt and shame completely. It is gone, removed. In its place is mercy, grace, and love. Reminders of failure only cause greater heartache and loss of joy.

Live these out with your children, grandchildren, students, friends, family, employees and watch their world and your’s change.

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do you lead with grace? part 3

Date: 27 May, 2010  |  Posted By: Brian  |  Category: encounter, Ministry, relationships  

When it comes to leading others, you can lead by force or you can lead by creating desire. Because of His position, rank, and power, God could lead by force. He could threaten, command, and demand complete allegiance. Instead He does something very different. He leads with grace.

He gets no satisfaction, joy, or glory when we follow Him with robotic-religious form. So He overwhelms our heart with His love and grace in order to ignite desire in our hearts. He leads with grace!

Here are 4 of 8 ways that God leads with grace.

1. give them room to fail
My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. 1 john 2:1

There is encouragement to not fail, but there is also room for when we do fail. Not room that gives me an excuse to fail, but room to find forgiveness when I do.

2. love them for who they are, not what they do
according as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love ephesians 1:4

God chose me before I had done anything. Therefore His love for me is not based on what I do, but instead who I am.

3. give them freedom to be different
But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body as it has pleased Him. 1 corinthians 12:18

God is the one who creates with diversity, uniqueness, and creativity. He finds great delight in the differences of His creation.

4. give them freedom to be honest and vulnerable
So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. hebrews 4:16

One of the greatest privileges of approaching God is knowing that no matter what we have done, there is room in His presence to be honest, broken, and vulnerable.

We’ll continue with the other 4 ways of leading with grace in the next blog.


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do you lead with grace? part 2

Date: 25 May, 2010  |  Posted By: Brian  |  Category: encounter, Faith, Ministry, relationships  

God leads with grace. If He led by continually reminding us of our failures and flaws, no man could stand. No one would have hope and no one would have desire for God. Instead, He sent His Son to die for our failures so that we could be forgiven and freed from condemnation.

Grace like that overwhelms and wins our heart.

This is the same kind of grace that God calls us to relate and lead with. Whether you are grandparent, parent, teacher, coach, employer, employee, brother, sister, or friend, you are an influencer of others. You have the opportunity to relate with the same kind of grace that God shows.

Are you relating like that? Here are a few simple ways to identify if you are leading with grace or with condemnation. Grace leads to desire. Condemnation kills.

How do you relate and motivate the people in your life?

  1. Do you point out their weaknesses, failures, and flaws?
  2. Do you attempt to control their choices?
  3. Do you try to force them into spiritual choices?
  4. Do you focus on their performance?
  5. Do you become angry at their failures?

These do little to instill desire and drive. Instead they only frustrate and destroy desire. The Scripture says it this way:

For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6b

Next, we’ll take a look at the specific ways to lead and motivate others with grace.

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do you lead with grace? part 1

Date: 24 May, 2010  |  Posted By: Brian  |  Category: encounter, Faith, Ministry, relationships  

God leads with grace. He sacrifices, loves, forgives, and accepts in order to overwhelm and win our heart. He’s interested in far more that just our obedience, outward performance, conformity, or forced following. He longs to fill us with genuine desire from a heart that is new.

How do you know if your heart has been captured by that grace? How do you know if you have been won?

  • you want to be with Him
  • you want to be honest with Him
  • you want to do whatever He says
  • you are grateful for all He does
  • you sense genuine oneness with Him

These are the greatest evidences of a person being truly set free! Desire for God has been ignited in their heart. Its no longer about trying to do enough good to be loved. Its about far more than being religious, spiritual, or than in keeping a list of rules. Desire and love have come alive.

And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. Ezekiel 36:26

In part 2, we’ll look at how we live out this kind of grace in leading others.

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